


;)Daddy named the group 'the fam'

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, I Don't Even Know, I also can't tag, I literally cannot title, I'm Sorry, M/M, Maybe Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Mostly Crack, My First AO3 Post, Pining, Soonyoung is trying and failing, This wasn't supposed to be, but it was almost christmas and it needed to come out before then, idk - Freeform, much like me, pls save them, tell me watchu guys want, the8 and hoshi know abt eachother's crushes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-02-18 23:59:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13111335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 8:37PM;)Daddy: Guys what the hell;)Daddy: why doesn't anyone answer when I'm here10:00PM;)Daddy: Goddamnit guys





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IM NOT FUNNY IM SORRY :((  
> also sorry if I fuck up the format of the chat somewhere

**Group: the fam**

 

10:00AM

**;)Daddy added Angel, Jihoon, Jisoo, Wonwoo, beautifulBOOty, Horseface, PRINCEHOSHI, Chan:), haohao, lostinthesauce, Tol, and decafdecaprio to Group**

**** **;)Daddy named the group 'the fam'**

 

;)Daddy: Hello bitches

**Seen by everyone**

 

11:45AM

 

Tol: who wants to have lunch w/me im lonely

 

haohao: no u fukin ho

 

Tol: rood :((

 

haohao: : )

 

lostinthesauce: hao i want nuggets:((

 

haohao: >:(

 

lostinthesauce: :(

 

Wonwoo: I can go

 

Tol: REALLY

 

Wonwoo: yeah sure,,

 

Tol: THEN WERE EATING AT MCDONALDS BECAUSE IM UNHEALTHY

**Seen by Wonwoo, lost in the sauce and haohao**

 

PRINCEHOSHI: unhealthy my ass u fucking visual

 

Jisoo: lanGUAGE CHiLdren

 

decafdecaoprio: someone's salty

 

beautifulBOOty: hOLLUP LADIES GIMME FRENCHFRIES

 

beautifulBOOty: IM COMIN TOO

 

PRINCEHOSHI: kusoh >x<

 

Jisoo: lolmao

 

Jisoo: not what i meant Soon

 

Horseface: **l o l m a o**

 

Jisoo: ??

 

Horseface: nvm. no.

 

Chan:): Chan wants to come too ! :0

 

Angel: aw :)

 

Angel: do you want me to bring you?

 

Chan:): yeah!! THANKS JEONGHAN HYUNG

 

1:00PM

 

Horseface: whoa there

 

Horseface: no need to get so salty about 'anonymous' ppl on ur snap gyu

 

haohao: "Isn't it annoying when you're having a moment and literally people decide to just barge in and ruin it completely"

 

Jihoon: he's obviously talking about you loudass little shits

 

Jihoon: fucking hell you can't go outside without making a scene

**Tol reacted 'love' to this message**

 

Tol: THIS IS WHY JIHOON HYUNG IS THE ONLY ONE I LOVE

**Seen by haohao and Wonwoo**

 

Tol: wAIT NO-

 

Tol: WONWOO

**S** **een by haohao**

 

Tol: AGHHWBH :((

 

1:23PM

 

;)Daddy: lmao guys

8:37PM

 

;)Daddy: Guys what the hell

 

;)Daddy: why doesn't anyone answer when I'm here

**Seen by everyone**

 

10:00PM

 

;)Daddy: Goddamnit guys

**Seen by everyone**

 

8:37PM

 

;)Daddy: Guys what the hell

 

;)Daddy: why doesn't anyone answer when I'm here

**Seen by everyone**

 

10:00PM

 

;)Daddy: Goddamnit guys

**Seen by everyone**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chat: them fam**

**Angel, beautifulBOOty, Chan:), decafdecaprio, haohao, Horseface, Jihoon, Jisoo, PRINCEHOSHI, Tol, Wonu, ;)Daddy**

5:21PM

 

PRINCEHOSHI: why do Jisoo, Jihoon and Wonwoo have weird names?

 

Jisoo: what's wrong with our names?

 

PRINCEHOSHI: they're boring

 

**Wonwoo has set their name to 'Wonu'**

 

PRINCEHOSHI: ...

 

Wonu: what?

 

PRINCEHOSHI: you _could_ be more creative

 

Wonu: what about yours??

 

PRINCEHOSHI: WE ALL KNOW IM A PRINCE

 

PRINCEHOSHI: AND HOSHI IS STAR IN JAPANESE >;000

 

Wonu: what the fuck is that face supposed to mean

 

Jisoo: language

 

Wonu: korean

**Tol, PRINCEHOSHI, Horseface and 2 others have liked this message**

 

Jisoo: still not what I meant

 

Wonu: be more specific?

 

Jisoo: please _mind your_ language children

 

Wonu: yes, I am aware that what I said was in korean

 

Jisoo: /sigh/

 

**Jisoo has set their name to 'SHUA'**

 

**lostinthesauce has set Wonu's name to 'Xx_wonw0lflover_xX'**

 

Xx_wonw0lflover_xX: I'm not THAT emo

 

**Tol has set Wonw0lf_dragonslayer101's name to 'mingyu's bæ'**

 

Tol: ;PP

 

mingyu's bæ: s t o p

 

**mingyu's bæ has set their name to 'Wonu'**

 

Wonu: there leaveit alone pls

 

Jihoon: is my name really that boring?

 

PRINCEHOSHI: NO

 

PRINCEHOSHI: I JUST MEANT THAT IT COULD BE BETTER

 

PRINCEHOSHI: YOUR NAME IS BEAUTIFUL

 

PRINCEHOSHI: WE LOVE IT

 

PRINCEHOSHI: I LOVE YOU ANSJHS

 

**haohao has opened a private chat with PRINCEHOSHI**

 

haohao: ,':^/

PRINCEHOSHI: :,^))

_haohao is typing..._

PRINCEHOSHI: pls spare me

 

**Chat: them fam**

**Angel, beautifulBOOty, Chan:), decafdecaprio, haohao, Horseface, Jihoon, PRINCEHOSHI,SHUA, Tol, Wonu, ;)Daddy**

 

Angel: oH

Angel: speaking of names..

 

**Angel has set Chan:)'s name to 'Baby'**

 

Baby: Why!?

 

Baby: Im not a baby!! :(

**Angel reacted 'sad' to this message**

 

Angel: Are you not my baby? :(

**Baby reacted 'angry' to this message**

 

**Baby set Angel's name to 'Devil'**

 

PRINCEHOSHI: omg

 

Horseface: omg

 

haohao: omg

 

beautifulBOOty: reBEL

 

Devil: hOW cOULD YOU

 

Baby: are you _not_ Satan himself though?

 

;)Daddy: ..

 

;)Daddy: Jisoo is crying

 

SHUA: I _TRUSTED_ IN YOU CHAN

 

SHUA: YA'LL NEED JESUS

 

SHUA: IMMA HIDE IN MY COVENANT SJSJSJ

 

decafdecaprio: covenan t?

 

beautifulBOOty: lol

 

decafdecaprio: what ?..

 

haohao: r u stupid

 

decafdecaprio: _maybe_

 

decafdecaprio: :( we're not _all_ dedicated christians

 

beautifulBOOty: it's ok Hansol

 

beautifulBOOty: u can be stupid cuz ur cute

 

decafdecaprio: thanks :)

 

haohao: don't flirt here u nasties

 

beautifulBOOty: f u

**Seen by Everyone**

7:15PM

 

decafdecaprio: Forward this 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it still Christmas? No? lol oops

**Chat: Christmas club**

**Angel, jingleBoolls, rudolf, blitzen, hohohoe, Horseface, VirginMary, PRANCER,Jesus, JUNglebells, Tree, *Happyholidays, Coal**

 

Yesterday, 12:30AM

 

Horseface: HOHOHO

 

PRINCEHOSHI: HoHOHOHHOHOSHI

 

haohao: no

 

beautifulBOOty: MERRY XMAS EVERYONE

 

decafdecaprio: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS

**SHUA has liked this message**

 

lostinthesauce: haVE A HOLLY JOLLy CHRISTMAS

 

Tol: MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYSS

 

Wonu: *happy holidays

 

Tol: ily but pls let me have this

 

Chan:): GUYS! YOU SHOULD BE SLEEPING!!

 

Chan:): Santa knows when you’re awake,

 

Chan:): How are you gonna get presents if he can’t come in because you guys are up all night :(

 

PRINCEHOSHI: santa can come in while I’m awake I don’t bite ;)

 

VirginMary: I agree with chan

 

VirginMary: I wouldn’t come in there if I were Santa

 

PRINCEHOSHI: :(

 

beautifulBOOty: waiT GUYS WE SHOULD HAVE MATCHING CHRISTMAS USERNAMES

 

Angel: YES

 

beautifulBOOty: yES

 

**decafdecaprio has set their name to ‘blitzen’**

 

PRINCEHOSHI: I CALL PRANCER

 

**PRINCEHOSHI has set their name to PRANCER**

 

**PRANCER has set Chan:)’s name to rudolf**

 

PRANCER: my child

 

**Angel has set haohao’s name to ‘hohohoe’**

 

**Angel has set SHUA’s name to ‘Jesus’**

 

**beautifulBOOty has set Tol’s name to ‘Tree’**

 

**Angel has set lostinthesauce’s name to ‘JUNglebells’**

 

**beautifulBOOty has set Horseface’s name to ‘Shitfaced’**

 

**beautifulBOOty has set ;)Daddy’s name to ‘Coal’**

 

**beautifulBOOty has set Wonu’s name to ‘*HappyHolidays’**

 

**beautifulBOOty has set their name to ‘jingleBoolls’**

 

jingleBoolls: pretty self-explanatory so far,,

 

jingleBoolls: Jeonghan hyungs and Jihoon hyungs names fit christmas well enough

 

Shitfaced: um excuse me

 

Shitfaced: how is this Christmas themed?

 

PRANCER: we _all_ know what happens to you on any _normal_ Christmas night

 

Shitfaced: hbspfih _no_

 

PRANCER: um, _yes_

 

Coal: GUYS WTF LET ME SLEEP

 

Coal: wait why is my name coal?

 

jingleBoolls: tryna keep things xmas themed

 

Coal: no but why me

 

rudolf: because coal is what you get when your a bad person

 

Coal: nice to know that I’m appreciated

 

Angel: CHAN WERENT YOU TELLING US TO GO TO BED

 

rudolf: MY PHONE KEPT VIBRATING :(

 

Coal: I AGREE

 

Wonu: GUYS GO TO SLEEP

 

Yesterday, 9:30AM

 

jingleBools: MERRY CHRySLER

 

PRANCER: HOLLYHANNUKAH

 

**jingleBoolls set the chat name to ‘Christmas club’**

 

Yesterday, 10:00AM

 

jingleBoolls: why is noone awake

 

JUNglebells: because considering the time you guys were up at last night..

 

jingleBoolls: okay point taken

 

Wonu: how tf are you guys up?

 

PRANCER: I have a will to live u emo shit

 

jingleBoolls: Damn

 

Tree: DONT INSULT HIM

**Seen by everyone**

 

Yesterday, 7:00PM

 

Angel: ARE YOU READY KIDSSS

 

Jesus: AYE AYE CAPTAIN @blitzen cmon spongebob

 

blitzen: um?

 

Shitfaced: I HAVE ALCOHOL

 

rudolf: :0

 

PRANCER: exactly my point

 

Shitfaced: excuse me

 

PRANCER: you are excused

 

Shitfaced: fuck u Soonyoung

 

Angel: REMEMBER UR SECRET SANTA PRESENTS GUYS

**Seen by everyone**

 

1:34AM

 

Tree: hao

 

[Tree has sent an image file](https://ibb.co/dBbyc6)

 

Tree: what is this

 

hohohoe: Christmas to me is like spring cleaning

**JUNgle bells has liked this message**

 

Angel: Cheolie?!

 

Coal: !!

 

Angel: didn’t I give that to you like.. 4 years ago??!

 

hohohoe: lol I got it as a present from seokmin

 

Shitfaced: I got it from Jun last yearr

 

JUNglebells: I got it from Soonyou

 

JUNglebells: omg so this gift has been circling among us for four years?

 

Angel: YOU SAID YOU LIKED MY GIFT

 

Coal: I did *sweats nervously*

 

hohohoe: sorry, did you just type ‘sweats nervously

 

hohohoe: ’

 

Angel: ur dead

 

Coal: WAIT NO HANNIE

**Seen by Angel**

 

JUNglebells: OH MY GOD ICANHEAR HIM AT THE DOOR

 

Tree: WTF THATS FAST

 

JUNglebells: SEUNGCHEOL IS SCREAMING

 

Jesus: I can confirm

 

hohohoe: merry christmas everyone

**Seen by JUNglebells, Tree, *Happyholidays and four others**

 

9:25AM

 

jingleBoolls: I’m sorry, are we still having a christmas dinner today?

 

PRANCER: If we are

 

PRANCER: no more alcohol

 

PRANCER: there are children here

 

Angel: We are

 

jingleBoolls: what happened to the 4am drama u had

 

PRANCER: lol they probably had hardcore sex

 

Angel: uMM no

 

jingleBoolls: sure

**Seen by Angel**

 

VirginMary: “there are children here”

 

PRANCER: Jihoon? ur up?

 

VirginMary: yes why

 

PRANCER: um didn’t you sleep at like 6am?

 

VirginMary: correction

 

VirginMary: I didn’t sleep at all

 

PRANCER: u should go to sleep

 

VirginMary: nah, I’m fine

 

PRANCER: but you might get tired later..

 

VirginMary: okay okay

 

VirginMary: Im going to sleep

 

PRANCER: good

**Seen by VirginMary and jingleBoolls**

 

10:18AM

 

Coal: wtf Jihoon never sleeps when I tell him to

 

JUNglebells: wtf its soft

 

_Jesus is typing…_

 

Coal: the f stands for fudge

 

Jesus: it better

**Seen by everyone**

**-**

**Chat: Christmas club**

**Angel, jingleBoolls, rudolf, blitzen, hohohoe, Horseface, VirginMary, PRANCER,Jesus, JUNglebells, Tree, *Happyholidays, Coal**

12:00AM 

 

Tree: CHRISTMAS IS OVER

 

Tree: HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

hohohoe: SHUT THE FUCK UP ITS NOT EVEN JANUARY

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know how to end it if you couldn't tell lmao


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i meant to update earlier (cough for joshuas birthday cough) but i slipped and drowned in schoolwork :,))

 

**Chat: Christmas Club**

 

**Angel, jingleBools, rudolf, blitzen, hohohoe, Shitfaced, VirginMary, PRANCER,  Jesus, Tree, *HappyHolidays, Coal**

** 3:59PM **

**jingleBoolls has set their name to booboo**

 

booboo: guys where are you

 

VirginMary: dead

 

booboo: IT'S TIME FOR A REVIVAL

 

***HappyHolidays has set their name to 'Wonu'**

 

Wonu: What

 

booboo: nobody texts here anymore :.(

 

booboo: :,(

 

Wonu: We're busy and tired so..

 

booboo: it's not Christmas anymore I'm changing it back

 

**booboo has set the chat name to 'Them Fam'**

 

**Seen by everyone**

** 4:20PM **

 

**blitzen has set their name to blazeit**

blazeit: ,

 

blazeit: ;

 

blazeit: ;)

 

hohohoe: ew

 

blazeit: im sorry is your santa claus laugh butchering of a username anybetter

 

hohohoe: I didn't even make this username f u

 

hohohoe: blame Jeonghan hyung and Seungkwan there the ones who changed it

**Seen by blazeit**

 

Wonu: *theyre

 

Wonu: *they're

 

hohohoe: lmao did you just correct your own correction 

 

Wonu: Shut up

 

hohohoe: what if i dont wanna shut up?

 

hohohoe: what if I wanna shut  _down?_

Wonu: I'm not sure if that's how it works

 

Wonu: Besides, it's called shut up for a reason

 

Wonu: When you close your mouth your jaw moves up, you don't close it by moving the top lip down

 

**_PRANCER is typing..._ **

****

Wonu: Soonyoung don't think I didn't see you try from the other side of the room

 

PRANCER: >:(

 

** 6:38PM **

 

PRANCER: Which one of you fuckers made Jihoon's nose bleed?

 

 

**JUNgle bells has set their name to 'June'**

 

 

 

June: ?

 

VirginMary: oops A tree walked into me

 

June: What

 

VirginMary: *Mingyu

 

PRANCER: ARE YOU OKAY??

 

**_VirginMary is typing..._ **

****

PRANCER: Or should I say..    _Oak-ay_

**beautifulBOOty reacted 'sad' to this message**

**blazeit left the group**

 

 

VirginMary: can we disband

 

Shitfaced: fshsgshgsf LMAO

**PRANCER added blazeit to Them Fam**

 

PRANCER: Don't  _Leaf_  Hansol ;(

 

VirginMary: goodbye guys ill miss u

 

PRANCER: wAITNO

 

**VirginMary has left the group**

Shitfaced: wait omg

 

Wonu: I smell angst

PRANCER: JIHOON COME BACK

 

hohohoe: um he's not in this gc anymore he can't see ur texts

 

**PRANCER added VirginMary to Them Fam**

**Coal has set their name to ';)Daddy'**

;)Daddy: I suddenly realized how ugly this gc name is

 

PRANCER: DONT LEAVE THE GROUP PLS 

 

PRANCER: hyung shutup im having a moment

 

PRANCER: you cant leave the group jihoon it won't have the same ring to it:(

 

PRANCER: "say the name sixteen!" See? its ugly

 

;)Daddy: we aren't even Seventeen in the group we're 13

 

PRANCER: hyung shutup did i ask?

 

;)Daddy: what kind of rude lil shit

**Seen by booboo**

 

PRANCER: JIHOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN

 

PRANCER: JIHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN

 

PRANCER: JIHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN

 

PRANCER: jihoon :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

 

**_Cut for length_ **

 

PRANCER: Jihoon we cant live without u pls

**Seen by VirginMary**

**VirginMary** **has left** **the group**

PRANCER: JIHOON DONT LEAVE 

 

Wonu: As much as i love ur suffering 

 

PRANCER: rood

 

PRANCER: >:(

 

Wonu: Stop the spam I swear I'm going to kill you

 

**PRANCER has set their name to Fuck you Wonwoo**

 

Wonu: Fucking really

 

Fuck you Wonwoo: .

 

Wonu: Oh my god

 

** 7:31PM **

****

**rudolf has set their name to 'Channie'**

 

**Channie has added VirginMary to ThemFam**

VirginMary: thx Chan

 

Channie: ur welcome hyung!

 

PRANCER: HOW DID U DO THAT

**Seen by everyone**

 

** 9:24PM **

 

**Angel has set the groupchat name to 'NO MORE TAKEOUT'**

 

Angel: Hey guys we're eating my food tonight 

 

Tree: _your_ food?

 

Angel: Hey guys Mingyu's cooking dinner tonight

 

June: good im sick of takeout Chinese food

 

blazeit: but your chinese?

 

Wonu: *you're

 

blazeit: youre

 

June: that's homophobic tf

 

blazeit: how is that homophobic 

 

hohohoe: what made you decide to let us eat an actual dinner hyung

 

Angel: me and dokyeomie won a new rice cooker last night

 

Wonu: Dokyeom and  _I_

blazeit: omgod

 

Jesus: what

 

Angel: actually we've been collecting tickets at the arcade so we could afford that rice cooker prize cuz we jad to get like a million

 

Channie: is that where you've been disappearing to every night?

 

Horseface: Yes

 

Horseface: and we wouldn't have to if  _someone_ didnt break tge ricecooker

 

;)Daddy: you have no right to attack me like this you stole my wife

**Seen by Wonu, blazeit and 2 others**

 

Horseface: :)

 

June: how do uou break a rice cooker?!?

 

Jihoon: Hey 

 

Jihoon: Seungkwan and I helped you get tickets 

 

Jihoon: don't you  _dare_  disregard all the sleepless nights I had to go through

 

;)Daddy: what Jihoon wasn't just at the studio?

 

booboo: lol yeah pretty much the entire vocal unit was trying to win that ricecokker

 

Jesus: This is the most betrayed I have ever felt in my entire life

 

Angel: what

 

Angel:  _Oh_

 

Jihoon: frick, sorry Jisoo

 

Jesus: language

 

Jihoon: what frick isnt a swear

 

Jesus: not on my christian minecraft server it's not

 

Jihoon: wtfudge

 

Angel: OH MY GOD IM SORRY JISOO

 

Jesus: Idk 

 

Jesus: im still feeling very personally attacked

 

Angel: ITS OKAy

 

Angels: GUYS THE VOCAL UNIT IS GOING OUT AGAIN

 

Horseface: Yayyy

 

booboo: Yayyy

 

Horseface: whoa

 

booboo: whoa

 

Horseface: omg

 

booboo: omg

 

booboo: wow I love telepathic friends

 

Angel: WERE GONNA SMOTHER JISOO WITH LOVE

 

Jesus: : )

 

Angel: :)

 

Jihoon: but Im sleeping

 

Angel: shutup no your not

 

Jihoon: ZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzz

 

Angel: no you dont snore though text

 

Jihoon: goshdarnit

 

Jesus: don't say that word it scares me

 

Jihoon: ...

**Seen by Angel,Jesus and 3 others**

 

June: okay but how did Coups break the ricecooker

 

;)Daddy: boi shUT

 

** 11:32PM **

 

blazeit: Hey guys

 

blazeit: When Seungkwan got home he tripped and got a

 

booboo: .

 

Jesus: nice

 

Shitfaced: AJU nice?

 

VirginMary: that's it

 

**VirginMary has left the group**

 

Wonu: Soonyoung if you start spamming

 

Wonu: I swear to God

 

Fuck you Wonwoo: .

 

**Wonu has removed Fuck you Wonwoo from the group**

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM STILL DROWNING IN SCHOOL WORK :(( hopefully ill be able to post more soon tho
> 
> Joshua: Jesus  
> Jeonghan: Angel  
> S.coups: ;)Daddy  
> Jun: June  
> Wonwoo:Wonu  
> Hoshi: FuckypuWonwoo, Fuck  
> Woozi: VirginMary  
> Mingyu: Tree  
> DK: Shitfaced  
> the8: hohohoe, mullethao, JUSTminghao  
> Seungkwan: booboo  
> Vernon: blazeit  
> Dino: Channie

**Chat: NO MORE TAKEOUT**

**Angel, blazeit, booboo, Channie, FuckyouWonwoo, hohohoe, Jesus, June, Tree, Wonu, ;)Daddy, Shitfaced, VirginMary,**

 

**3:22PM**

 

Tree: When did billy ray cyrus join seventeen?

 

blazeit: what

 

Tree: @hohohoe

 

 

**Tree has set hohohoe's nickname to mullethao**

 

Tree: bUISnesS iN ThE FRonT pARTY AT THE BaCK

 

mullethao: NO

 

**mullethao has set their name to JUSTminghao**

 

JUSTminghao: sTOPIT

 

June: it's okay minghao the mullet looks cute

 

JUSTminghao: fuck you

 

Tree: what the fuck it was a compliment who replies to a compliment with fuck you

 

booboo: lol if anything he should've put the fucj you at the front, when you were talking

 

JUSTminghao: shutup 

 

Tree: is that an insult to me or him?

 

Angel: his looks match his IQ now I guess

 

JUSTminghao: i sAID SHUT UP

 

June: what the fuck why didn't that one deserve a fuck you?

 

**_JUSTminghao is typing..._ **

 

Tree: r u stupid wtf

 

booboo: now  _that's_ where you put the fuck you

 

JUSTminghao: i fucking hate you guys

**Seen by June**

 

Tree: !!

 

Tree: he's improved

 

Tree: :,) they grow up so fast

 

JUSTminghao: fuck you

 

booboo: He's learning!!

 

Tree: I'm so proud!!

 

JUSTminghao: oh my Gpd

 

Tree: :)))))

 

**Chat: JUSTminghao, June**

 

JUSTminghao: I'm sorry hyung I didn't mean it

**Seen by June**

 

JUSTminghao: hyung please :(

 

JUSTminghao: ill go buy ice cream as an apology

 

June: it's okay you don't have to

 

JUSTminghao: no

 

JUSTminghao: we're buying ice cream

 

**_June is typing..._ **

 

JUSTminghao: hyung don't give me that bs

 

JUSTminghao: I'm taking you out and it's my treat let's go

 

**Chat: NO MORE TAKEOUT**

**Angel, blazeit, booboo, Channie, FuckyouWonwoo** **, JUSTminghao** **, Jesus, June, Tree, Wonu, ;)Daddy, Shitfaced, VirginMary**

 

**7:40PM**

 

FuckyouWonwoo: Guys,,

 

**_FuckyouWonwoo is typing..._ **

 

Shitfaced: wow

 

Shitfaced: You looked great this comeback

 

FuckyouWonwoo: gee, THANKS

 

FuckyouWonwoo ;PPPP

 

blazeit: did u pay seokmin hyung to say that

 

VirginMary: leave pls

 

FuckyouWonwoo: it's okay Jihoon, you looked really good too :)))

 

VirginMary: thanks

 

FuckyouWonwoo: :000

 

FuckyouWonwoo: is that..?

 

FuckyouWonwoo: a pun?

 

VirginMary: I take it back you looked terrible this comeback

 

FuckyouWonwoo: :(

 

booboo: you never said he looked good

 

VirginMary: 

 

VirginMary: Goodbye

**Seen by VirginMary**

 

**Chat: FuckyouWonwoo, booboo**

 

FuckyouWonwoo: nice one seungkwan

 

booboo: what

 

**Chat: NO MORE TAKEOUT**

**Angel, blazeit, booboo, Channie, FuckyouWonwoo, hohohoe, Jesus, June, Tree, Wonu, ;)Daddy, Shitfaced, VirginMary**

 

**7:43PM**

 

Shitfaced: its okay i still think u looked great

 

FuckyouWonwoo: thank you my platonic soulmate non homo love from another set of male and female pair :)

 

Shitfaced: I love you too my kin relative fellow gang member neighbor buddy boy bro 

blood brother

 

FuckyouWonwoo: whoah now, that's too gay

 

booboo: we are all literally gay

 

Angel: ^^

 

Shitfaced: What?? What did I do that made it gay?

 

FuckyouWonwoo: you put "I love you" without a no homo at the end

 

Wonu: pls tell me who added him back

 

FuckyouWonwoo: >:)))) try and find out

**Seen by Angel, booboo and Shitfaced**

 

-

 

**Yesterday 10:36PM**

 

**booboo has added FuckyouWonwoo to NO MORE TAKEOUT**

 

FuckyouWonwoo: :0

 

booboo: Welcome :)

**Seen by booboo**

 

FuckyouWonwoo: now to cover up all the evidence

 

FuckyouWonwoo: :):():(:

 

FuckyouWonwoo: bbbbbbb

 

FuckyouWonwoo: sffsgshsfhsgsvsggsgsgsgsg

 

FuckyouWonwoo: jshshhsbdndnbdbdbdbdbdbbdbdbdbdbbdbdbdbdbbd

 

FuckyouWonwoo: fuxhxnxhshshshshshhshshshs

 

FuckyouWonwoo: .

 

FuckyouWonwoo: .

 

FuckyouWonwoo: .

 

FuckyouWonwoo: .

 

FuckyouWonwoo: .

 

FuckyouWonwoo: .

 

FuckyouWonwoo: .shsjsjsjsjsjsjsjwjjwjwjwjwjwjwjwjwddccccqpoijjejnnmrmmmmdjjjjjjjdjkkkkdkddkdkkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkidijrhhgggggggjjjjqqweeewwqwrrrrtititiittititotoototptptptptpptpttptppeoeoeiieieiiriririiriririririieiririririrituututututututututuutututututututuutututututuutddjjdndndnjdjsjsssdffffhhhhhhhhhhkjkklkkkklkllllllllzzzzxxxxxxxxxxddtyyyyyuuuuuuuuu

 

**Cut for length**

 

**Yesterday 1:37AM**

 

FuckyouWonwoo: Gucci Gang, ooh, yeah, Lil Pump, yeah, Gucci Gang, ooh

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang!)

Spend ten racks on a new chain

My bitch love do cocaine, ooh

I fuck a bitch, I forgot her name

I can't buy a bitch no wedding ring

Rather go and buy Balmains

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang!)

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang!)

Spend ten racks on a new chain

My bitch love do cocaine, ooh

I fuck a bitch, I forgot her name, yeah

I can't buy no bitch no wedding ring

Rather go and buy Balmains, aye

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang

My lean cost more than your rent, ooh

Your mama still live in a tent, yeah

Still slanging dope in the jets, huh

Me and my grandma take meds, ooh

None of this shit be new to me

Fucking my teacher, call it tutory

Bought some red bottoms, cost hella Gs

Fuck your airline, fuck your company

Bitch, your breath smell like some cigarettes

I'd rather fuck a bitch from the projects

They kicked me out the plane off a Percocet

Now Lil Pump fly a private jet

Everybody screaming "fuck West Jet!"

Lil Pump still sell that meth

Hunnid on my wrist sippin on Tech

Fuck a lil bitch, make her pussy wet

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang!)

Spend ten racks on a new chain

My bitch love do cocaine, ooh

I fuck a bitch, I forgot her name

I can't buy a bitch no wedding ring

Rather go and buy Balmains

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang!)

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang!)

Spend ten racks on a new chain

My bitch love do cocaine, ooh

I fuck a bitch, I forgot her name

I can't buy no bitch no wedding ring

Rather go and buy Balmains, aye

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang

Lil Pump, yeah, Lil Pump, ooh

hohohoe: disgusting, leave that song in 2017

 

FuckyouWonwoo: Leave your dabs in 2017

 

hohohoe: >:((

 

-

 

**8:11PM**

 

Wonu: Soonyoung what the actual fuck

 

Fuck you Wonwoo: >B))

 

**10:30PM**

 

Tree: Wonwoo its 10:30 why are you still scrolling

 

Wonu: why??

 

Wonu: why

 

Wonu: why are there so many messages?

 

FuckyouWonwoo: because

 

FuckyouWonwoo: .

 

Wonu: I'm not letting you do this anymore

 

**Wonu has set FuckyouWonwoo's name to 'Hoshi'**

 

**Hoshi has set their nickname to 'FuckyouWonwoo'**

 

**Wonu has set FuckyouWonwoo's name to 'Hoshi'**

 

**Hoshi has set their nickname to 'FuckyouWonwoo'**

 

**Wonu has set FuckyouWonwoo's name to 'Hoshi'**

 

**Hoshi has set their nickname to 'FuckyouWonwoo'**

 

**Wonu has set FuckyouWonwoo's name to 'Hoshi'**

 

**Hoshi has set their nickname to 'FuckyouWonwoo'**

 

**Wonu has set FuckyouWonwoo's name to 'Hoshi'**

 

**Hoshi has set their nickname to 'FuckyouWonwoo'**

 

**Wonu has set FuckyouWonwoo's name to 'Hoshi'**

 

;)Daddy: am I the onky one who think i looked great in the mv??

 

**Hoshi has set their nickname to 'Fuck'**

 

Fuck: nO

 

;)Daddy: :(

**Seen by ;)Daddy**

 

Fuck: I CLICKED ON THE MESSAGE NOTIFICATION GODDAMNIT

 

Fuck: ajshsHBSJ

 

**Fuck has sent a word file**

 

Fuck: bj2nk

 

Fuck: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvGac0xk5W8>

 

Fuck: vjrl

 

Fuck: I win

 

Wonu: I mean,  _I_ win

 

Fuck: SHSJBI

 

**Fuck has left the group**

 

**Wonu added Fuck to NO MORE TAKE OUT**

 

Fuck: shIT ON YOUR ENTIRE LIFE WONWOO

 

Jesus: That isnt a very family friendly name

 

Wonu: the old one wasn't very "family friendly" name either

 

Jesus: that was a joke

 

VirginMary: to be honest we really can't tell with you sometimes

**Seen by Wonwoo**

 

Fuck: ^^

 

Jesus: smh kids these days disrespecting their elders

 

VirginMary: tf u are

 

Jesus: excuse me?

 

Tree: I'm sorry Jihoon is on her period rn

 

VirginMary: what

 

Jesus: omg jihoon ur a trans?

 

VirginMary: what the actual fuck, no

 

Jesus: it's okay jihoon, just because I'm christian doesn't mean I don't support you

 

VirginMary: what's going on

 

Jesus: u don't have to worry

 

VirginMary: who's doing this

 

Jesus: :)

 

VirginMary: ,:(

**Seen by Fuck, Wonu and Tree**

 

**11:00PM**

 

June: the only reason Jihoon would be on her period is because she was already a female since like 2013

**booboo and JUSTminghao have liked this message**

 

booboo: a female seagull

 

VirginMary: dONT LOOK BACK AT THE PAST

 

VirginMary: DONT MAKE ME REMEMBER

 

Tree: tf where were u minghao

 

**Chat: JUSTminghao, Tree**

 

JUSTminghao: i got ice cream

 

Tree: did u get some for me?

 

JUSTminghao: no

 

Tree: well then fuck you

 

Tree: (^^thats how it's supposed to be done, watch and learn)

 

JUSTminghao: istg mingyu

 

JUSTminghao: im stuffing the dildo I found in ur drawer last week down ur throat

 

Tree: kinky ;)(

 

JUSTminghao: I change my mind

 

JUSTminghao: I'm burning it in the oven

 

Tree: D:

 

Tree: thas cruel haohao

 

JUSTminghao: :)

 

Tree: anyway, why were u buying icecream?

 

JUSTminghao: an apology?

 

Tree: that doesn't make any sense I didn't get any ice cream

 

JUSTminghao: no u fucking dildo

 

Tree: ;)

 

JUSTminghao: let me live

 

JUSTminghao: it was for Jun hyung

 

Tree: !

 

Tree: (^^*read with mario soundeffect*)

 

JUSTminghao: sure

 

Tree: sure??

 

Tree: well my sure is to the fact that u apologized to Jun but not your best friend

 

JUSTminghao: what does that mean

 

JUSTminghao: and who said u were my best friend

 

JUSTminghao: that is a self proclaimed title

 

Tree: *falls to the ground clutching heart*

 

JUSTminghao: I apologized to Jun hyung because hes a child and he always needs an ice cream apology when we fight 

 

JUSTminghao: i swear sometimes im convinced I'm older than him 

 

JUSTminghao: and he literally cannot function without me hes always so fucking clingy and I swear

 

JUSTminghao: we were also celebrating Chinese new year together

**_JUSTminghao is typing..._ **

 

Tree: ssshhhhhhhhshshshsh

 

Tree: ssshshhsshsh

 

JUSTminghao: ?

 

Tree: *puts finger up to your lips and continues to shush you*

 

JUSTminghao: what kind of roleplay bs are you playing me with

 

Tree: It's okay minghao

 

Tree: you don't have to come up with stupid excuses

 

Tree: I understand

 

JUSTminghao: sure,,

**Seen**

 

**Chat: JUSTminghao, Tree**

 

**4:00AM**

 

Tree: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Tree: I understand

 

JUSTminghao: wtf


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A DOUBLE UPDATE?? :0 yeah,,, I was supposed to post these earlier but I kept procrastinating:(
> 
> **NOTE: if you look at the times in the two group chats, they're around the same time Think of it as them texting in to chats at once lol**
> 
> Joshua: Jesus  
> Jeonghan: Angel  
> S.coups: ;)Daddy  
> Jun: June  
> Wonwoo:Wonu  
> Hoshi: Fuck  
> Woozi: VirginMary  
> Mingyu: Tree, ChefMingu  
> DK: Shitfaced  
> the8: JUSTminghao  
> Seungkwan: booboo  
> Vernon: blazeit  
> Dino: Channie

 

**Chat: Matchmaker Mingyu and the mingyuettes**

 

**Tree has added Wonu, Angel, Channie, Shitfaced, Jesus and ;)Daddy to 'group'**

 

**Tree has set the group name to 'Matchmaker Mingyu and the minguettes'**

 

**8:35AM**

 

Tree: hellow

 

Angel: has anyone seen my chocolates?

 

Angel: wait wrong gc

 

Angel: wait what is this

 

Angel: I don't approve of this name

 

Shitfaced: can u keep me out of this

 

**Tree has set their name to 'Chefmingu'**

 

Wonu: I would ask the same thing, but I know you really won't 

 

ChefMingu: it's almost valentines day guys!1!!111

 

**Wonu has set their name to Wonwoo**

 

Jesus: please stop 

 

Channie: this is scaring me

 

Angel: mingyu stop scaring my children

 

ChefMingu: do you all know what that means?

 

Angel: I'm dragging Seungcheol with me to take a 3-day nap?

 

ChefMingu: That's right!

 

Angel: it is?

 

ChefMingu: (No i have a scripted dialogue stfu)

 

Angel: >:(

 

ChefMingu: Love is in the air!

 

;)Daddy: what's going on???

 

Tree: forget it nevermind

 

Jesus: nevermind as in youre giving up on this entire scheme?

 

Tree: no,,,,,

 

ChefMingu: nevermind as in I'm giving up on the script and we're getting this plan inACTION

 

**Jesus has left the group**

 

ChefMingu: I didn't even say anything yet :((

 

Angel: what  _is_ your plan??

 

ChefMingu: ive decided to get Minghao and Jun hyung together

 

Shitfaced: no thank you

 

ChefMingu: :( I'll buy you chocolate

 

Angel: i'm sold

 

ChefMingu: :)

 

Shitfaced: I don't like where this is going

 

Channie: why us specifically?

 

ChefMingu: because this cupid has a list of people he's planning to get together 

 

Channie: hyung, please never call yourself cupid ever again

 

Wonwoo: were you up at 4am thinking about this??

 

;)Daddy: please tell me Jihoon isn't someone you're meddling with

 

ChefMingu: he's not in this gc soo...

 

;)Daddy: as leader I hereby ban you from doing this

 

ChefMingu: why noot?

 

;)Daddy: We can't let you die mingyu hell kill you

 

ChefMingu: aww

 

;)Daddy: youre the visual of this group

 

;)Daddy: oF COURSE NOT ASMUCH A VISUAL AS MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE

 

Angel: good

 

;)Daddy: but we still need you

 

ChefMingu: of course 

 

**ChefMingu has removed ;)Daddy from the group**

 

ChefMingu: so

 

ChefMingu: who's with me?

 

**Channie has left the group**

 

Angel: sorry, Ill look for my own chocolates

 

**Angel has left the group**

 

ChefMingu: DK?

 

Shitfaced: I'm sorry 

 

**Shitfaced has left the group**

 

ChefMingu: guess it's just you and me now babe

 

Wonwoo: Sorry

 

ChefMingu: Wonwoo:(

 

Wonwoo: I'd really rather not

 

ChefMingu: but baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaby :,(

 

Wonwoo: Mingyu, no

 

ChefMingu: WONWOO 

 

Wonwoo: I'm sorry

 

**Wonwoo has left the group**

 

**Chat: NO MORE TAKEOUT**

**Angel, blazeit, booboo, Channie, Fuck, Jesus, JUSTminghao, June, Tree, Wonu, ;)Daddy, Shitfaced, VirginMary**

 

**8:40AM**

 

Angel: who ate my chocolates

 

JUSTminghao: the ones mingyu made for us?

 

**Tree has set their nickname to 'ChefMingu'**

 

ChefMingu: that's  _Chef_ Mingyu to you

 

JUSTminghao: that says mingu

 

ChefMingu: it's okay, me and @Wonu match now

 

**Wonu has set their name to Wonwoo**

 

ChefMingu: :(

 

Angel: ...

 

Angel: no, not those ones

 

ChefMingu: did scoups hyung give you chocolates

 

Angel: no those were shit

 

Angel: I bought my own chocolates for valentines

 

JUSTminghao: I'm single but you make me feel like my romantic life is more alive than yours

 

Angel: did you take them minghao

 

JUSTminghao: I haven't even seen them

 

Angel: I don't trust you

 

JUSTminghao: hyung I didn't take it

 

Angel: ur going on my "Safe for now" list

 

Angel: Chan? 

 

Channie: I'm sorry I haven't seen it :(

 

Shitfaced: What? I want chocolates too :(

 

Angel: I

 

Angel: I'm sorry for even suspecting you

 

Angel: Ill buy you some next time Chan, Dokyeomie

 

Channie: :)

 

JUSTminghao: oh! sorry,

 

JUSTminghao: Who else is  _all_ for the blatant favoritism?

 

Angel: shut it mullet

 

JUSTminghao: fuck you

**ChefMingu and booboo have liked this message**

 

JUSTminghao: lay off guys that joke is stale

 

;)Daddy: Sorry Han I ate them

 

Angel: Cheollie :)

 

;)Daddy: :)

 

Angel: ur sleeping on the couch tonight

 

;)Daddy: :   )

 

**Chat: Shitfaced, ;)Daddy**

 

;)Daddy: ITS NOT WORKING

 

Shitfaced: TOO LATE HYUNG YOU ALREADY COVERED FOR ME

 

;)Daddy: WHAT THE FUCK 

**Seen by Shitfaced**

 

;)Daddy: oh my shit

 

**Chat: NO MORE TAKEOUT**

**Angel, blazeit, booboo, Channie, Fuck, Jesus, JUSTminghao, June, Tree, Wonu, ;)Daddy, Shitfaced, VirginMary**

 

**9:00AM**

 

Jesus: here lies choi seungcheol

 

Jesus: may he rest in piece

 

VirginMary: ? What's the occasion?

 

booboo: Happy Valdntines day everyone

 

Angel: don't sass me

 

booboo: I'm not

 

Angel: okay, you may proceed

 

VirginMary: oh,

 

VirginMary: what a day to die

 

**Chat: 97line - the8//Fuckoff**

 

**9:01AM**

 

**ChefMingu has removed Shitfaced from the groupchat**

 

ChefMingu: guys, who's online?

 

dOUBLEB: I am B))

 

ChefMingu: who else is online?

 

dOUBLEB: >:(

 

Imtallerthanyou: you shouldn't have asked he's always online

 

dOUBLEB: so are you, asswipe

 

ChefMingu: lmao when did Yugyeom change his name

 

Imtallerthanyou: longlong story

 

dOUBLEB: why did you remove DK?

 

ChefMingu: oh

 

**_ChefMingu is typing..._ **

 

**Chat: 97line - Bam//the lunch gc**

 

**9:02AM**

 

Shitfaced: whY'd yOU REMOVE ME FROM THE MINUS MINGHAO

 

JUSTminghao: ???

 

ChefMingu: NO IF YOU WONT SUPPORT ME THEN IM FINDING DOME NEW SUPPORT 

 

JUSTminghao: ...

 

ChefMingu: *SOME

 

**Chat: 97line - the8//we are cupids now**

 

**9:02AM**

 

**ChefMingu has set the group name to '97line - the8//we are cupids now'**

 

Imtallerthanyou: what

 

dOUBLEB: who are we matchmaking?

 

dOUBLEB: is it dokyeomie?

 

dOUBLEB: you could've done this in the minus DK chat

 

ChefMingu: no, I had a plan but he's not helping me

 

ChefMingu: I'm trying to get Jun hyung and Minghao together 

 

ChefMingu: but I can't think of what to do

 

dOUBLEB: ohhhhh

 

dOUBLEB: don't worry, I got this

 

**Chat: 97 liners boios**

 

**9:05AM**

 

dOUBLEB: hEY @JUSTminghao

 

JUSTminghao: what

 

dOUBLEB: you gay lol dab

 

**ChefMingu has removed dOUBLEB from the group**

 

ChefMingu: sigh

**Author's Note:**

> btw if it's confusing, if 1 message is seen by someone and it says "seen by everyone" later on, it means that the first message seen by them is the last one they saw before going offline and when it says that they saw another message later after the first one, it means that they were back online after that the first one they saw.
> 
> [basically if you use facebook messenger it's when the bubble icon things move around depending an who saw what message when]
> 
> sorry if it still doesn't make sense¿¿


End file.
